Funny, how I am. Unable to stand for more than five minutes, weak and feverish, the first thing I did this morning, once the house cleared, was to make a list of what needs to be done. I do this when life gets a bit chaotic. Over a week of adult children and teenagers will do that to a household. I think, what I am looking for when I do this, is some sort of control...or the misconception that controlling my life will somehow alleviate my present suffering. It seems no matter how much I know the opposite to be true, in my moments of "unconsciousness", old habits flow smooth.
I'm thankful for the view. In the quiet moments of my morning, the connection to Nature is what brings me home. The sun rising over hoar frosted pines reminds me of the constant movement of life - like a river - still in it's wholeness, yet full of wild and wonderful currents. There is no stopping this constant change. It comforts me - the newness of each breath. The rebirth of all things, over and over and over again. Because, I am part of this great circle. It is my acceptance of this wonderful miracle called Life, this ever changing state of all things, that reconnects me with Being. It is my resistance to this that brings me my suffering - not the flu, not the piles of laundry, not the refrigerator full of molding leftovers - but my mind, fighting against the current, grasping for control, filling my head full of "should-bes" and "what-ifs".
Today, I am still sick.
Today, I will be compassionate towards myself.
This is the most important thing we do.
From the inside, looking out...
Life is so very beautiful.
The sun, waking the earth like the gentle hand of a mother, warm and tender.
Reminding us all of our place in this new day.