Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Reflections




This is a picture of our oldest daughter Aleela, taken back in June. The reflection in the mirror is of me. I was standing behind her, rubbing her shoulders and neck after a long day at work. Instead of driving home, she drove to New Richmond to help me with company that had come for Anna's graduation.

Last week, when I was in the hospital, I had a few days when I was barely coherent. Weakness and pain overwhelming. Drifting in and out, relief came only when sleep arrived. Those first few days were the worst I have ever experienced.

Aleela is a very strong, outgoing, intelligent women. I don't always see this - my eyes tending to see the girl of days gone by, but there have been a couple of occasions where in order to care for me, she has worked from our home. I hear her dealing with doctors and surgeons from all over the United States. That little girl, twirling atop a tree stump in her pretty pink princess dress and red "clappin" shoes - now strong, authentic and beautiful.

As I drifted in and out from my hospital bed, there she was. Sitting perfectly still, in the darkness, keeping vigil. Sometimes when I looked at her she looked like an angel to me. My voice almost nonexistent from weakness, all I need do was to whisper her name and there she was - inches from my face. "I'm here Momma." When the doctors would come in and ask their questions, I could not speak loud enough for them to hear. So she translated. There were moments where I felt as if my life depended on her - locked inside this body of pain, unable to communicate - she knew exactly what to say.

I've looked at my daughter for 25 years now. Put in pony tails, curled hair, helped with make up, advised on the combinations of pants and shirts, shoes and belts and gave my share of bad boyfriend advice. And I have cherished every minute.

It's a holy thing, beautiful and magical, watching your daughter become a women. Seeing yourself reflected in her image, yet amazed by the the jewels she has adorned herself with - collected from broken hearts, tears, hopes and achievements. Unmatched by any other - unique and unparalleled, one of one.

How blessed I am. How truly and wonderfully blessed I am.






8 comments:

Deb aka murphthesurf said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. First for the love that explodes from your words. Love that ties you two so closely. Second, because I have a daughter that is just twenty and so reminds me of yours. We are both blessed to have such beautiful daughters with such caring hearts, such gracious personalities and such caring souls. I keep you in my nightly prayers that all goes well for you and that you will soon emerge from this shadowed forest. I know you will because you have a guardian angel by your side.

Theresa said...

Deb - I am so glad we have "met". Your words feel good - and bring me so much comfort.
Aren't daughter's wonderful!! I have five of my own and two step daughters - seven in all, and they are all lovely and unique - full of grace. Sometimes I just sit and wonder how I EVER got so blessed!
Thank you for your prayers - and for the angel - as I lay here, morning air rushing in - I feel the divine presence, and I am at peace. Bless you.

Christine said...

What an incredible tribute to your daughter. I don't have one but I am one. I pray that my mother perceives me to be half the daughter that your apparently is. I think I may send this to her as it so eloquently describes the beauty of a mother-daughter connection. Hope you are continuing to heal....

Christine

Theresa said...

Thanks Christine! Yes, yesterday was really a breakthrough day for me. I'm assuming my hemoglobin is on the rise and so some of my energy is coming back. I spent qutie a bit of time upright and out of bed yesterday, so that felt really good!
Have a wonderful day, my friend.

Anonymous said...

Theresa
I am Christine's mother and enjoyed your blog. It was wonderful of you to put into words the beauty of a mother daugther relationship - I cried as I read it as I too am wonderfully blessed with Christine.
I wish you well - feel better
Jeanne

Theresa said...

Thank you Jeanne! It makes my heart glad to hear your words. And I too, am very thankful for you daughter!
Thank you also for your well wishes! I am on my way!
Peace to you,
Theresa

Jazzcat said...

This picture is an real art piece !!

Theresa said...

Thank you - it was one of those "moments' where my husband just happened to have camera in hand. It truly depicts our relationship - I just love it too!

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